Tuesday, February 28, 2012
"Mr. Higinio Schtrompf is trying to change the law to remain in power forever! This runs against all the principles of democracy, and the ranks of the Vittorianist Party will resist it to the end!"
Some time later...
"So our natural leader, doctor Alonso Vittoriani, needs our help to remove the institutional hindrances that arbitrarily stop him from consecrating his life to the service of the country in the position the people's sovereign will has elected him to..."
Friday, February 24, 2012
"Do you see what I mean? Because of modern medicine, more and more sickly individuals get to survive and contribute to the gene pool of the species. If we keep on meddling with natural selection, we'll be left unprotected against any epidemic that comes our way."
Millions of years earlier...
"With all this taking care of the young business, they are born less and less capable of fending for themselves. If we keep on getting weaker, beasts will eventually get the better of us for good."
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
"He's in trance already."
"Let's listen to his prophecies."
"Atlantis will start rising again off the West coast of North America in 1968 or 1969. China will be converted to Christianity by 1968. Jesus will return to Earth in 1998.
"People in the 21st century will take photographs with telephones they'll carry in their pockets."
"Now he's delirious again."
"Wake him up."
Friday, February 17, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
No, I didn't make it up.
"Try our horse shampoo for humans! It contains biotin that will make your hair grow stronger!"
"Actually, biotin is not absorbed through the skin. You'd have to ingest it for it to have any effect."
"Horse shampoo with biotin! If you drink it, your hair will grow strong and healthy!"
Friday, February 10, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
"You are done, infidel! Your days of mocking God and the Church are over! Get ready to face the Lord's terrible justice!"
"No, brother Athanasius! Don't do it!"
"What? What's the matter, brother Irenaeus?"
"One more and we'll have killed as many people as that atheist Stalin!"
"Good Heaven! I was about to commit an atrocity!"
Friday, February 3, 2012
"It's no use, Mr. secretary! We keep throwing more and more wood at it as you told us to, but the fire only grows bigger!"
"The situation is more serious than I thought! I am ordering the acquisition of an extra one thousand tons of wood to fight this atrocious fire!"