Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Elect

Elect

Friday, December 9, 2016

Work inspection

Work inspection

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Franchise

Franchise

Friday, December 2, 2016

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Friday, November 25, 2016

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Friday, November 4, 2016

Friday, October 21, 2016

Police report

Police report

"Why do you never come here when it's other people getting robbed? Huh? I will not take your report. I am against ALL crime, not just crime that happens to be against you."

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Arson

Arson

"Arsonist!"

"Oh, sure! Since you don't have any arguments, you resort to name calling."

Friday, October 14, 2016

Unjust

Unjust

"We live in a very unjust society."

"That's right. We should do something about it!"

"Do something? Get out of here, Che Guevara. Things just are the way they are."

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Complaint

Complaint

DOWN WITH DEMOCRACY

"I don't want to bear any responsibility for anything that happens! I want to blame everything on other people!"

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Space visitors

Space visitors

"Greetings, Earthlings. We come from the star you call Alpha Lyrae, or Vega."

"Damn Vegans."

"Why do they always have to announce themselves?"

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Other people

Other people

"Some people do bad things."

"Let's find something they don't have in common with us and conclude that's the reason."

"Makes sense."

Friday, September 30, 2016

DRM

DRM

"I created a DRM scheme that does make sense."

"What does it do?"

"It lets only true fans buy and listen to music."

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Run over

Run over

"My God! Don't move!

"Send in an ambulance! A man just had an accident! He was run over by a car of a government agen—"

"And what about the previous administration? HUH?"

Friday, September 23, 2016

Generosity

Generosity

"Thank you! You are very generous."

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Smile

Smile

YOU NEVER KNOW WHO COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR SMILE

"Is this an argument for or against smiling?"

"I'm not very sure."

Friday, September 16, 2016

Keynote

Keynote

"Our company is at the cutting edge of innovation. We're constantly in search of new ways to charge for work done by other people."

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Anti-radiation

Anti-radiation

Effective procedure. Stops your cell phone from emitting radiation.

Friday, September 9, 2016

God's love

God's love

"That's not true! God doesn't say we'll go to Hell if we don't love him."

"He doesn't?"

"No! He says that if we do love him, then we WON'T go to hell."

"Uh-huh."

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Homage

Homage

"We have gathered here to honor this great person who never stopped reminding us that the poor and the helpless are a means for us to earn paradise...

Friday, September 2, 2016

360

360

"I explained this to you already! Saying 'a 360 degree turn' is wrong! That is a full turn! If something turns 360 degrees, it ends up just like it started!"

"What were you saying?"

"Er..."

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Exam

Exam

Thank you for your interest! You need to answer correctly 15 of these 20 questions about the article in order to leave a comment.

1. What animal is mentioned?

Horse
Rabbit
Chicken
Tortoise

Friday, August 26, 2016

Realistic

Realistic

"Women in combat? In that period? THIS ISN'T REALISTIC!"

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Outrage

Outrage

"People on social networks get outraged over everything."

"Like there weren't good reasons to get outraged! They make me sick!"

#OutragedMorons

Friday, August 19, 2016

Simulation

Simulation

"I have definitive proof that we live in a computer simulation. Look at this cell culture through the microscope."

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Confessional

Confessional

"Have you had impure thoughts, my child?"

"Oh, no, father. My thoughts have been pure lust."

Friday, August 12, 2016

Stairs

Stairs

"You don't hear me complain about how difficult the stairs are to climb. I make the effort and climb them! That's why I got higher than you did."

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Public spending

Public spending

"That government research facility has been there for years and they have yet to open a gate to an alternate universe full of monsters."

"What are they doing with our tax money?"

Friday, August 5, 2016

Dictionary definition

Dictionary definition

"OGRE. noun. An imaginary fairy tale giant that feeds on human beings.

"There you have it. IMAGINARY. You aren't real. What do you say now?

"What an utter disregard for the meaning of words!"

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Black powder

Black powder

"Look. Now black powder is a fad. Suddenly everyone is into it."

"Posers."

Friday, July 29, 2016

Ad agency

Ad agency

"According to the client's brief, the major value they want associated with their brand is 'embarrassment.'"

"Let's target the campaign at young people!"

"Speaking their language!"

"With emojis!"

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Friday, July 22, 2016

Respectful

Respectful

"You should be respectful to those who disagree with you. Learn from my example!"

"You're all the time telling me to shut up."

"But I'm very respectful to those who disagree with you!"

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Scarcity

Scarcity

ARTIFICIAL SCARCITY

By HENRIETTA MARQUEZ

PhD in Economics

PRE-ORDER YOURS! ONLY 200 WILL BE PRINTED!

Friday, July 15, 2016

On the wall

On the wall

"I told you not to draw on the walls! I told you! Now these scholars will spend YEARS debating whether this is or isn't art!"

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Distress message

Distress message

"We've been years in this island and not a single ship has passed by. We need to accept we will never be rescued."

"Hmm... Wait. I have an idea."

WHAT IF ZELDA WAS A GIRL?

"ZELDA IS A GIRL!"

Friday, July 8, 2016

Debate

Debate

"No! We will not discuss arguments for and against crushing my skull with a sledgehammer.

"You're so closed to debate! Such a fanatic!"

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Enlightenment

Enlightenment

"Come, Holy Spirit. Help me overcome close-mindedness."

"I'm a sociocultural construct, result of centuries' worth of syncretism."

"That's not true!"

Friday, July 1, 2016

Counterargument

Counterargument

"If there is no God, how do you explain that you'll go to Hell for being an atheist? It makes no sense!"

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Human rights

Human rights

"Who can tell me what human rights are for?"

"I can! I can! They're for charging countries we don't like with abusing them."

"Correct!"

Friday, June 24, 2016

Playing tables

Playing tables

"No. We don't want you people to play with us."

"We don't like the way you play."

"Look! They've got a table just for them."

"They marginalize themselves."